5 Ways Writer's Block Rears Its Ugly Head

Some days I'm just lazy and don't want to spend the time writing. Other days I simply can't write. So how do I know the difference between when I'm just being lazy and when I'm really experiencing writer's block? Here are 5 things that, when they happen, I know it's writer's block and not just laziness. Interestingly, they all basically boil down to deciding on the topic for a post. Once I have a topic in hand, I can usually knock out a post fairly quickly.

1. Everything is important. As in, Gosh, there are so many good things to write about. I feel passionate about all of them. I just can't narrow it down. This is kind of like how I feel looking at the menu at Taco Bell. Do I go for the Nachos Bell-Grande? I know it's awesome. But so is the Grilled Stuffed Burrito. And the 5-Layer Burrito. But the Grande Meal (5 soft tacos and 5 bean burritos, thank you very much) is such a bargain! I have noticed, though, that I never get so overwhelmed at Taco Bell that I walk out without ordering.

2. Nothing is important. As in, This isn't an idea list; it's a dung pile! Nobody cares about any of this crap. This is kind of like looking in a dumpster for something to eat. I could have a half-eaten turkey sub, leftover spaghetti with...are those meatballs?, or a dirty diaper. What the heck, they're all about the same, anyway.

3. I know nothing about anything. As in, Well, these are all pretty good ideas, but I don't know enough about any of them to actually write anything worthwhile. This is like how I feel when I'm scanning the menu at a really nice Italian restaurant. I could go with the Gnocchi al Cinghiale, or maybe the Pesce del Giorno, or even the Vitello Marsala. I'm sure they're great options. But I don't speak Italian, and I really don't want to order and then find myself wrist-deep in a plate of some broiled fish, asparagus, and mint salad.

4. I've written about that topic too much. As in, I feel like I've written about the plight of midget donkey-crap scoopers in the mountains of South America every day for the past week. Surely my readers are tired of hearing about it. Remember when Andy and Barney faked liking Aunt Bea's homemade pickles that actually tasted like kerosene so she made them a double batch - 16 quarts - and they ended up having to eat pickles with every meal and snack for a week? That's this one.

5. I don't want to waste a great idea. As in, Wow, that's a great idea for a post. But I'll only get one chance at it and I don't want to waste it. I better keep thinking about this one until I get it perfect. This is my wife and I not wanting to use our gift card to Olive Garden while the kids are with us. Instead, we'll save it for the perfect romantic evening "somewhere in the future."


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